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Wednesday, December 8, 2010

It's Been One Week...

A week ago I went back up on my Lexapro, taking 5 mg every day.

I think I have found a happy medium.  I'm not as activated as I was at 10 mg, but not as emotional as at 5 mg every other day.

I definitely have my sex drive back.

Things have gotten pretty sexually tense between Alyssa and me.  We have been sexting, sending sexy pictures, and making out several times a week, but it hasn't worked out that we have been able to have sex since the Monday before Thanksgiving.

We had a pretty hot and heavy makeout session tonight, but then she had to go get her son.  I get home and a guy friend is crashing on our couch.  Our place is too small and the couch is right outside our bedroom door.  No sex from Kay tonight either.  It's been several days since we've made love.

I am getting so sexually frustrated.

Alyssa invited me to a party Saturday night and said we could get a hotel room and spend the night together.  That would be amazing.  But I have to try and convince Kay of this.

I need sexual release so bad.

I am heading completely the wrong direction on my recovery.  The addiction is too strong for me right now.  I've gotten to where I don't even want to recover anymore.