1. We admitted that we were powerless over lust -- that our lives had become unmanageable.
I have no problem with this step, other than my personal issue with truly accepting that I am powerless and that my life has truly become unmanageable; however, I think it is a great place to start. Deep down, I know that it applies to me. That I'm suffering with denial.
2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
Here is where I start to have issue with the twelve steps. I don't know if I believe in God, or in this case, "a Power greater" than me and, if it does exist, that it can restore me to sanity.
Unfortunately, I think I have been so burned by life and by so-called Christians, that it has damaged the great faith I once had.
Also, being the stubborn, independent person that I am, I want to believe I can restore myself to sanity.
Then again, look how successful I have done it on my own thus far.
3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
Again, I have no understanding of God.
If there is a God, I don't believe we can or ought to even attempt to turn our lives completely over to Him or It.
Even Christians believe we have free will. I interpret this as us having the responsibility to live our lives and it is up to us to find a way to climb out of the hole we dug for ourselves.
4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
I'm fine with this.
5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
This works for me.
6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
Here comes the God issue again. I believe it is our job to remove our own defects. We may need support and help from others, but I just don't believe that we can just sit back and say, "God, take all this away. Please and thanks."
7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
Ditto.
8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
Great idea! I'm good with this.
9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
Very important step and I accept the importance of it.
10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.
Absolutely fine with this.
11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
Don't get me wrong, folks. I absolutely do believe in life after death. I do feel the presence of my loved ones who have passed on in my life. I have had spiritual experiences from beyond that I cannot explain away with science, logic, or coincidence. But, despite this, I have trouble accepting there being a God, or at least others' concepts of Him.
Well, it does repeatedly state, God as we understand Him.
Hmm...I think I'm starting to figure this out.
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these Steps, we tried to carry this message to sexaholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
Wow. I seriously think I just had a spiritual awakening.
I started this blog post with the intention of spouting about all the problems I have with the Twelve Steps and how they are so God-oriented. But as I sat here and really analyzed what they said, I felt enlightened.
The purpose is for me to come to understand My Higher Power and to discover the concept of it that works for ME.
Maybe I don't have issues with it afterall.
